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Ask Dr. Schwartz
Psychotherapy and Mental Health questions

Guys Think I Am Too Much for Them to Handle

I am 23 years old and is attractive enough to make heads turn when I walk down the streets. I went on numerous dates with guys as young as 3 years younger than me or as old as 12 years older than me. Which means to say that I do not have problems attracting any guy. At the beginning stage, guys find me really attractive, intelligent, understanding, sensitive etc... But as time goes on, they eventually start seeking advice instead of seeing me as a person available to be their date.  In fact, I've never been officially asked out on a date. All the "dates" I've mentioned is where I ask them if they're free for coffee. Another way is we become "friends" and we meet as "friends." Slowly things work out. However, even then, they don't call it a date but an "outing."

It is frustrating that I've never been asked on a date, even a very simple one. It makes me feel worse when gals who are not as attractive as I am are asked on a special date. I've never even received a single rose!!  Eventually, these guys move away, end up with a another girl with whom they get very serious and become happily married. Still, these guys  remain as my friends.

Worst of all, they give me tips on how to get a guy. I can't find someone who will see me as more than just a friend. It even confuses my Mom, who sees the number of male friends I have, that no one asks me out.

I even end up thinking I'm cursed. It's very frustrating. I feel extremely lonely.  I don't have that special someone who can also meet my needs.  I cannot believe that I'm still a virgin.

Please see if there's any issue here.

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